Ideas, stories, and reflections.

Happy Mother's Day!

Uncategorized May 13, 2019
 

Happy Mother's Day everyone!

This time of year is always a little reflective because five years ago I lost my mom to complications of heart disease.  I reflect on what Mom taught me, how it's shaped my life, and how grateful I am to have such awesome parents.  

Mom always found the bright side of things, especially when things were tough.  When we were going through her recovery after heart surgery, she told me "somehow, we will look back and laugh at all of this".  She was on dialysis at that moment, and I couldn't help but admire her strength.

She was also all about sharing her thoughts about anything, and would always listen and learn about a different perspective.  Even if she didn't agree with them.  Don't think she wouldn't tell you about her opinion though. 

She loved to read, and I picked up her love of books over the years.  The last book she gave me was the book 1776, about the American revolution and it was fantastic. 

Both her...

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One thing that's stealing your happiness, and what to do about it.

Uncategorized May 07, 2019
 

I recently got back from a week long training seminar, and it was fantastic!  Almost everyone was enthusiastic, up-beat, and excited to learn how to help people find breakthroughs that improve their lives. (This was the yearly coaching certification training).

What does this have to do with one thing that's stealing many people's happiness?  Well, I have a friend who had nothing but complaints about the event.  It was frustrating because this person complains a lot about a ton of things.  We all have our moments and complain.  It's a human thing.

Complaining robs us of happiness, feeling satisfied, or enjoying the moment.  We feel frustrated we don't have control, so we point out how things are flawed.  We blame others for our lack of success, or we wait for someone else to fix a problem we are facing.  There is little agency or control for the person who complains

We live in a society that LOVES to complain.  Take a look at the internet....

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Bring the change!

Uncategorized Apr 22, 2019
 

Well folks, Happy Easter!  I hope you got to spend some time with your family this weekend for one of the numerous holidays.

Some big news...  I'm making a big career change (I'll share with you in a bit), and after over six years working as a software engineer at Apple, this coming Friday is my last day!

It's been a dream getting to work at one of the biggest and best technology companies.  I remember growing up always wanting to work at an Apple or Microsoft because I thought computers were super cool.  Six years ago I remember starting my first day at Apple, feeling like I was super lucky had realized that young dream.

So why the change?  Well, for me I always believed that people should be the focus when it comes to technology.  People make the thing.  People use the thing.  People talk about the thing.  It's never about the MacBook Pro, it's about how we make it and how we use it.

With this belief, I became interested in how...

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People Remember How You Last Made Them Feel: Relationships, Confidence, and High Performance

Uncategorized Apr 14, 2019
 

 

If you've ever been in a situation where you loved or hated your boss, it's probably because of how they made you feel when you talked with them. I'd also bet the boss you loved had much more influence with you than the boss who yelled or put you down.

One experience I had in corporate America was when a team-mate came into my office, screaming profanities at me.  I was able to keep my cool, and we moved past it.  But I never really trusted him to have a civil conversation again, and the team suffered from not being able to have candid discussions about the work.  

On the other hand, I've had team members that always had helpful insight on how to make things better.  These folk's tended to have a ton of influence with me at work, because I felt like my work was better because we worked together.  Even if they were a bit too candid and direct with my approach. 

There are also people like my buddy Jim who always inspires me to...

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Productivity and Confidence

Uncategorized Apr 01, 2019
 

Our confidence is linked to our productivity.

When we are taking active action toward our goals, dreams, we feel confident things will change for us.  

Productivity can me many things.  It could be learning how to code or practice law even better. It can be setting the proper strategy and vision for the team, so everyone is on the same page.  Or it could be finding our next best job or career.  In each situation, we need to focus on things that will create the transformation, and stop things that get us off track.

Focus on the main thing, decrease distraction.

If you are looking to be more productive in an area of your life, here are five ideas to help you focus more and get distracted less.

  1. Create a focus practice - With our attention spans shortening, do an activity each day where you focus for an hour.  Just like a muscle, your focus needs to be practiced.
  2. Block-time -  Set aside blocks of 50 minutes to focus on a task, then take a 10 min...
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Courage and Confidence

Uncategorized Mar 25, 2019
 

Courage is a word we don't discuss anymore as a society.  And it's something we should talk about because it's directly related to our well-being.

My definition of courage is the ability to express yourself and speak up despite feeling anxious, scared, overwhelmed, or uncertain.  Classic examples of courage come from the military (facing down bullets and such).  More modern times shows of non-life threatening courage are speaking up online, reading the comments section, putting your foot down with your child, leaving a bad relationship, among many other situations.  

If you can't speak up in business meetings, have a tough conversation with a loved one or co-worker, express yourself online without feeling assaulted, or jump into a new health routine because you're are anxious about new things, then you can't really live your life.

Not being able to work through the anxiety, fear, or the unexpected causes us to lose momentum.  To feel unconfident and...

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How your energy impacts your confidence

Uncategorized Mar 23, 2019
 

Hey everyone!  Last week we talked about, briefly, on how clarity helps you gain more confidence.  If you haven't seen it yet, go back to last week and check it out!  People have been loving the post, even if I was a little under the weather.

This week is all about how your energy impacts your confidence.  

Have you ever felt "out of it" when you needed to be on your "A" game?  Ever felt unmotivated when you knew you needed to finish something important?

We all have.  Some of the things the highest performers have in common are their ability to control their physical and mental energy.  

It's tough to get motivated when all you want to do is watch some Netflix, or get to bed ASAP.  If you are not motivated for long enough, then you start to lose momentum and feel less confident.

When you feel mentally and physically vibrant, you can't help but feel confident.  There is a sense of flow and connectedness - an ease about going about life...

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Feel More Clear and Confident

Uncategorized Mar 11, 2019
 

Our confidence comes with how clear we think, feel, and believe what our future holds.

When we are clear about who we are and what we need to do, we can take bold action towards our goals because we do not waste energy "trying to figure it out".  When we know how we want to feel in our lives, we can make better choices to realize those feelings.  When our future is clear, we can persevere through tough moments and situations because we know how things will turn out after hardship.

When we are not clear about who we are and what we need to do, we constantly battle ourselves in our mind.  We see ourselves as strong, while we give our power away at work like a timid person.  Are we strong, or timid?  A strong person would walk into that office and try to make a sale.  A timid person would walk by that office.  Which person am I?

When we are not connected to how we want to feel, we are at the whims of our current emotions.  Need to deliver on...

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Those 'Tough to Love' People: Five Things to Help with Difficult Humans

Uncategorized Feb 25, 2019
 

Part of the magic of a high performer is the ability to know how to navigate different types of people.  Some people are a joy to work with - they are the helpful, positive, inspiring, all boats rise when we all succeed kind of people.  After working with them, you usually feel inspired, energized, and better.

Others are the "Tough to Love" folks.  Irritable, hostile, sabotaging, demotivating, stab you in the back kind of folks.  You might feel emotionally drained, unmotivated, frustrated, angry, or in full despair when after interacting with these kind of people.

So as a high performer, what do you do?  Do you get pissed and fight with these types of folks?  Do you give up and let them do their thing?  Do you just avoid them altogether?  

The simple answer is:  it depends.

It depends on your relationship with them.  A family member is harder to completely avoid, where that one person at your coffee shop is easier.  You...

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5 Ways to Turn Fear into Inspiration

Uncategorized Feb 17, 2019
 

It's tough out there, and the struggle is real.  And there you are, doing the work, making progress, facing setbacks, and enduring.  That's why you inspire me!

As a high performance coach, I'm often asked "I want to make a career change, what do I do?".  A high performer knows a few things:  

  • We sometimes need to look for new ideas and perspectives to progress
  • There is never a magic bullet or "one true answer" on how to move forward
  • Play the long game to succeed

So how does this translate into change?  Well, it comes down to understanding fear and it's opposite, inspiration!

  • Fear is feeling worry something bad, painful, or unpleasant will happen.
  • Inspiration is feeling something good, positive, or pleasurable will happen.

Maybe you are afraid of changing jobs.  Or moving to a new place.  Maybe you have been putting off asking out that cute person at the coffee shop you get along with so well.  Maybe you're afraid that getting in shape will...

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