Tricia Dege transcrips
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Tricia Dege: [00:00:00] In our company, we don't use the word balance. I just, I just don't think that that is, and it's one of things I speak on like this myth of work life balance or that, you know, kind of golden nugget question. We call it juggling. You know, you got one ball Yep. Two in hand and you got a couple in the air and.
And, this, this, uh, vision of, you know, some are rubber and some are glass. Some need more care than others. And, and those look different to everybody. Back to our, you know, previous discussion about, it's a very personal decision of what to juggle. How to juggle. And so I don't believe like the whole thing about work-life balance, I just think it's not time well spent trying to figure out how do you balance.
Shawn Buttner: Hey everyone. Welcome to the Meaningful Revolution Podcast, where we help you live more into [00:01:00] the life that you've designed for yourself, so you have more purpose, more passion, and more vibrancy in your life. Today we're gonna be talking about Trisha Dey, who is for more than 25 years has worked as a with businesses to improve their operational, strategic and financial performance.
Most recently, she's led finance operations in internal consulting for healthcare systems and Minnesota as the senior VP and chief financial officer. Previously, she served as a consultant for several large firms for any client performance improvement initiative. So she's known for her polished diplomacy, creating simple solutions to complex problems, and in 2021, she founded the Mom Mastermind to help businesses develop and retain mothers to grow their leadership pipeline and create more executive women leaders.
I am so excited to be talking with you, with Patricia. Welcome to the podcast. Thank you. Thanks John, for having me. I'm just, I'm delighted to be here today with you and your audience, and you've had some previous guests that are good [00:02:00] friends of mine. You know, endeavor to bring meaning to the world. And so really pleased to be here.
Thanks. Excellent. So, okay. so today we're gonna be talking about, uh, your, I'm gonna call it mom leadership. I don't know, like bringing that into organizations. Yep. I'm in living, you know, into your purpose even more so, I guess how would you describe it in a less funky way than I just did? and why is it important?
Tricia Dege: Yeah, so I still find it a little clunky myself, to describe for the depth and breadth of what we do. But ultimately what we are trying to do is, as you said, help businesses develop and retain all women and. Especially working mothers, so they have a stronger pipeline of women and get more women ultimately into the executive suite.
And that's what we do for businesses. But at the core, it's really helping every [00:03:00] client, the individuals that we work with to read a. Find joy in career and motherhood. So I have lots of friends in including my best friend who chose to stay home, and I'm a hundred percent on board with that when that's what's in people's heart and brings them joy.
I think there are a lot of us too that, find great meaning and purpose in the work that we do as. but it isn't, it is not an easy juggling act. And so I work with each individual to figure out what's the right amount of juggling for them that elects them, have joy in both. Wow. Okay. That sounds super impactful and fulfilling.
, having. I guess Adjacently worked with a lot of educators the last couple years that had gone through a lot of stress and who tend to be women a lot. I know how important that is. So how did you get into this topic and, and why is it important? Uh, Yeah. For you? [00:04:00] Well, I think ultimately I lived it. So, when I had, I was a VP already, when I had my two daughters and they're close in age, they're 19 months apart.
And so, and then moved on to senior vice president and CFO with. Kids in elementary school and just trying to figure out how to do this well. And I'm lucky enough to have a mom, who stayed home until I was in middle school with my brother and I, so like this great role model of a mother. And I knew I wanted to do both, but I really wanted to be there for my kids in, in a way that my mom was there for me.
And so through the kind of trial and error of doing that, I figured out some things and, and I had a great career that I, that I loved and I worked with amazing people. I just started to have, you know, that little like change itch, you know, and it was a little bit before the pandemic, like, I [00:05:00] think I wanna do something different.
And, through self exploration, just really realized that helping develop other leaders was what I was most passionate about. then I went on the, on the journey to figure out, okay, well what is, what does that mean? And I took a course and then ultimately, like you got certified as a high performance coach with Brendan Burchard.
And, and I've looked carefully at a lot of different programs. And what I found in Brendan's process, you know, that, that, that we are taught to lead is I could see in the things that we now teach our clients, those that I was successful and, and really good at that. Successful. And then I could also see the things that were my, my weaker side.
And had I had more development in that earlier in my career, I think that that would've been really helpful. So, my journey really is one of, of living it myself and . So once I was certified, I realized pretty [00:06:00] quickly that I wanted to work with women and. You know, then the pandemic hit and we had mothers leaving the workforce, you know, in mass and it really created a platform for this conversation around we've got to bring more resources to the table and, and I believe that, you know, parental leave and equitable pay and flexible hours are all great things to do, but at the end of the.
Everybody, every mother has a juggling act to do, and it's a very personal choice. And so that's my work is to really work with them one on one to figure out what that, what, what works for them and for their family, you know, and, and for their relationship with their children. Right. and I love that the, the focus on there's that a one size fits all solution for everybody.
, be because. You know, circstance is so different. You know, if your company is, allows you to work from home. [00:07:00] now, you know, since we've all figured out zoo and stuff, like that's one thing that could be helpful or maybe it's too chaotic at home and you gotta work through that. Right. yeah. And very personal, you know?
Mm-hmm. Do you, is it important to you to have breakfast with your kids and put them on the bus or take them to preschool, or be there for the PTA meetings, or, or do you have a spouse who stays home and they're gonna do those things and, you know, you're really fully and present on the weekend and, and, and, and I think part of it is, you know, there is no right and wrong, just as long as it's joyful and meaningful.
To you, to each, to each mom individually. Yeah. So I, I'm curious now then, looking back, uh, at your journey, and I, I think this ties into a lot about what the meaningful revolution is about. Was there a time when you were looking at how you're living and it wasn't joyful [00:08:00] for you, and you're like, Oh. I know you said you lived this experience.
Maybe if you're comfortable sharing a little bit more of like, was there a moment where you were like, Oh, this is not what I wanted for myself or my family, for how I wanna be in the world? Yeah, I think, yeah. Two examples. One was I think I really did a lot of wrestling, when my first daughter in that first year of her life, and I didn.
, I was lucky to have a lot of flexibility. I asked when I went out on maternity leave for what is now called hybrid work, which was a big deal back then, you know, to be in the office three days and two days at home. and, and my leaders were, were, I'm very grateful that they allowed that, and I think that allowed me a lot of the, the, the ability to juggle, the way I wanted.
But I think that first year, just [00:09:00] knowing, Present and like always there for me, my, both my parents, but especially my mom, was that wrestling of like, I'm not doing that. I'm not here for every, you know, waking moment, with my daughter and just kind of wrestling through that and deciding that I was the best me, and the best mother doing something else.
And I was in healthcare. You know, our mission was very strong and very meaningful. So I felt like I was doing something important when I was away from home. And then, you know, when she was really little, and then especially when our second daughter came along, my evenings were for them and my weekends were for them.
I had very strict roles. Sometimes I had to, you know, drag out the laptop after they went to bed and, and that was okay. They were sleeping. but, but really cautious and protective of that. The only time in the evening when I've been gone all day [00:10:00] and, and the weekends. But then I think there was another time when they got a little older, so they're in school and they've gotta, you gotta run 'em to dance and softball practice and all the things.
And my job had gotten bigger and a little more stressful and I could feel some of that. Coming home with me and I had to work really hard to, stop leaving voicemails and thinking about work on my drive home and, and just allow myself a little bit of, peace and and space to then come in the door and step out of.
Business leader job and into like, put my mom hat, my very pa patient mom hat on despite what may have gone on, you know, during the day. So create that time and space to really step into that very different, different role. So those were a couple of times that I would say it was, it was challenging and there was a little bit of wrestling to do.
Right. Uh, I'm [00:11:00] curious, like did you, did you call on like your coaching side to kind of help you through Like, I don't notice. But I talk a lot about transition times between different roles and hats. And I picked up that you're like, Okay, on the way home I need to decompress so I can be ready and present for the next most important, you know, the most important thing that's now in the evenings or, or the weekends.
, what, I'm trying to think, like, how did you, so you had those experiences where you're like, Oh, I'm bringing work home, or whatever. What did you do to kind of like flip it right to where you were, where you wanted to be when you were home? Yeah, so I think in that stage that I was referencing, I just like, I could feel the angst when I got in the door and I'm like, This is just, I just worked really hard.
, without really knowing it, you know, I wasn't into yoga or meditating or, you know, any, I didn't really know. I just knew that I couldn't [00:12:00] come in all amped up. Like I just had to figure out how to breathe a little bit and, come in. And then I, you know, we had somebody taking care of the girls, you know, and then we'd transition and I simple things like I need that transition conversation.
With, her to be shorter cuz the kids are clamoring for my attention. Mm-hmm. and I just need to be real calm and I need to quickly get into my, you know, casual clothes. Just little things to make that go faster so that I was, more present for them more quickly after coming in the door in that phase.
And then, you know, I was in a community led by, you know, somebody out of the life coach school. For the last five years. And that's where I think what you're talking about, the mindset switches, the really coaching yourself came along when I learned some of those tools, from that group. got way better at [00:13:00] that.
Like catch it faster, feel the angst. Mm-hmm. like switch the thoughts. just a much more, uh, deliberate mindset. Mindset shifting. Mm-hmm. . Awesome. Awesome. Mm-hmm. . So, Alright. I love that, that, that's, so just, just wanna honor that, that you're able to recognize it, pick up on it, and then, you know, develop more, uh, Quickness is the word that's going to my head.
It's not really a word, but being able to switch, you know? Yeah. And then the interesting thing too is like not to, I don't want listeners to think like that I'm all Pollyanna or that I, that I am, that it's all perfection here. Either I, the time, I probably have to work the hardest to spend time, you know, the, we, we have a puppy and he gets the zi, you know, where he's swirling around and the kids are doling.
I'm ready to like get in bed and get out a good book and, and slow it down. And, and those are times where I think, [00:14:00] I do, I will breathe a little bit. I've found that, you know, they say that your mind doesn't know the difference between practice and actual. And so I will rehearse like. Being calm and, you know, following the bedtime routine and, you know, keeping the kids on schedule in a very calm manner.
And, just working really hard at that. And then I think like that future focus of remembering, You know, it, it can be tough in the trenches for parents. Mm-hmm. these years are fleeting. I happened to be on a, a plane yesterday with a a, a mom. She was in the middle seat and then her daughter was on the window and, and the mom needed to get up to use the restroom and she asked what?
I keep an eye on the little girl who was sleeping and reassure her if she woke up while her mom was, running back and forth and, I said, Oh, sure. And so I was watching this little girl sleeping and she's about four, four and a half, and I, you know, my kids are now 11 and 12 and oh, you know, you [00:15:00] just, you miss those years when they're, when they're gone.
They feel like you're all engaged when you're there, but then they start to grow up a little bit and they need you and they need you differently. And just kind of honoring every phase of this journey as a parent and as a child. it's gonna go really fast and, and each phase can be, you know, really should be so beautiful.
You just kinda work a little at it. Right on. Yeah, it's all right. So I had a, a question for something you said before. Yeah. I guess we'll just kind of go there. So, you mentioned like having your bed routine. You ha you know, in times passing quickly, being aware of that too, which I, I. Before going backwards, I also wanna highlight like knowing why it's important to, to be present to, you know, I'm sure it's not easy.
Trying to turn off the work brain, you know, corporate leader brain, then Yeah. You know, not [00:16:00] try to corporate lead your children. Cuz I'm sure that would go well, you know, or my husband, he doesn't like it when you Yeah. . So that, that's, that's cool to, to know that, that reason why it's important to, to do the work and have the fits and starts and it, that leads into the next question.
So what do you do when you have, I know I have friends with. And bedtime can sometimes be the wild west for sometimes it's smooth sailing and everything goes to plan, and sometimes it all goes sideways. So how do you handle those moments where, it, it's not going to plan? Is it just like, and maybe it's not a, a big deal, it just like, Oh yeah, this, should we just deal with it and, and move forward?
Yeah, I, you know, I am somebody who believes that that sleep is really important for children. Yeah. And so, I think for a lot of years I was [00:17:00] obviously militant about bedtime like that, that, you know, the kids are in bed at this time and the lights are out and it's quiet. Somewhat for them, but also for me, like I needed, I knew I needed that time, and I'm somebody who requires a lot of sleep, so I don't stay up a ton later than they do.
But as they've gotten older, I think I've gotten just a little more flexible. My one daughter plays, a nber of sports and often, you know, she comes home for sport practice pretty close to bedtime and she needs a shower, Maybe needs to finish the homework. Mm-hmm. might need to just talk to me about something.
And so allowing. Some flexibility and sometimes it's flexibility for one child and not feel like the other one's gotta get in bed so I can focus on the other. but I think for my kids know the routine. we've, we've always said, we just call it three things, you know? Go to the bathroom, brush your teeth and get your jammies on.
And that, that's been the same since they were old enough to listen [00:18:00] and know those words. And so when I say it's time for three things, you know, kids can remember three things. And, and sometimes I think they were, they were better in the kindergarten age than they are as free teens. But, just they know what the schedule is and then we do spend real intentional time with them.
And so as they're getting older, They desire that, that really in direct one on one time? Well, with, with both. My husband, when he's home, he's a commercial pilot, so he's not always here. they desire that time and I find them moving a little. A little faster. Uh, like last night, I, laid down by my daughter and she said, Mommy, I have something.
I wanna talk to you. And there was something, you know, on her mind that she really wanted to discuss. And so that will move them along a little faster. They're old enough to make that connection now. Mm-hmm. . so I feel like they can find more things to dole on as they get that they're also [00:19:00] smart enough to realize they'll get more time, the more quickly, they go.
So, I, I, the most important thing though, I. Around managing, you know, how do I wanna show up at bedtime? And it's not, you know, like crazy over bedtime and, you know, everybody's all fluttered cuz mom's all flustered. It's really, you know, bringing my best self to bed bedtime and it wasn't always the case and that was something I had to work at.
Right on. Yeah. Okay. So yeah, I keep thinking now that like my, uh, wife's a child therapist and so part of, uh, some of the, the consulting and work she's done. We've talked about as like how to get kids to sleep. Cause sometimes you just need, I love the simple three things, you know, you know, you know, the three things you gotta do.
It's not this like, you know, some people have spreadsheets of like how things are supposed to go, which is insane. But, you know, uh, Silicon Valley here. So it's probably part of it. yeah. Yeah. I think keeping it simple is a really important principle too. Yeah. [00:20:00] Yeah. And keeping. Yeah. Keeping your cool, I bet you that's probably the hardest part of it all.
sometimes. Yeah. Especially sometimes I, you know, I do like a really quiet, restful wind down period and, and sometimes, You know, I find myself now changing, you know, a lot more social and emotional, coaching and development as opposed to just reading, writing and arithmetic. Yeah, yeah. And it's suit super important, you know, I think for those skills, but that's a whole other conversation.
We don't need whole different conversation. Yeah. We've got you. And find better experts than me on that . Totally. All right. So I, I'm curious now. I know you have that transition between, you know, corporate leader and then you know, mom at home. are there any lessons that cross over from, you know, raising kids back to the [00:21:00] office?
I'm just curious, like, I know that there, there's a separation, so I'm sure you probably have the transition. I'm, I'm guessing to work where you're kind of getting into work mode, but I imagine that. It's gotta be like things that you learn about yourself raising kids, as, as part of this delicate balancing act that you can apply to, you know, your profession.
Yeah, Yeah. I think, a coup, a couple things that, that come immediately to mind, you know, around that question is,
Sometimes I can get into a really. Important engaged conversation with them at bedtime. And now I'm willing to trade that, you know, a few less pages of my book for really good quality time around the things that are on the minds of, of, you know, preteens. Cause cause today's world, [00:22:00] there's a lot. Yeah.
And, and I have been amazed. My, my oldest started middle school last year, amazed at the things that, that kids have. Grapple with that they hear about or experience, out in the world and, and in school. And, there's a, there's a lot to be present for at that time. Yeah, that would definitely, Yeah. I, I do not envy the, the kids growing up right now with all the extra distractions and communications and it's way more complex.
, it is, And having some friends that are, are teachers like just how they're like, Yeah. You don't understand how school is so completely different. Yeah. From, yeah. It's going through it. Yeah. The roles of teachers, I think are, Do you have a question for myself or one of the folks that have been on the podcast before?
If so, head over to our Meaningful [00:23:00] revolution community area where you can ask questions, meet like-minded folks. Get engaged in this conversation of living a life that you've designed for yourself, uh, because it's gonna be much more powerful if we can do it. I'd love to see you there. You can sign up for [email protected], linked below in the show notes here for this podcast episode.
So let's get back to it, guys, is really the idea of being a servant leader. So in healthcare, you're clearly about, the health of the patients that you serve, the communities that you serve, and, and really stepping into my role as a mother. Serving these children that I was gifted with. and, and not every day for sure looked like that, but, but that is what, that is kind of how I desire, motherhood to be, for me, is really serving these children and, and, you know, their, their needs and, not every want and [00:24:00] desire of theirs, but really helping to develop, you know, really great people.
And, and I think some of that rolls back then into, you know, service at work and, serving the, the leaders that were on my team. but the other thing, you know, I would say there's this. All this stuff, you know, on LinkedIn and, and out in the media now about like, what is your superpower? And I had a superpower at work that I didn't, you know, given our, your previous conversation No.
About bedtime and, and coming from time, my superpower at work was the ability to always maintain the ultimate, calm and, control. Like, like people knew that, that they couldn't rile me up. Like when, when a meeting with bananas, I would be. Be like, Okay, let's get this back on track. Like I think we've got more terminality here.
But that was a superpower and, and the more I used that at work, the more I [00:25:00] realized, oh, that could be really helpful at home. Why is it that, that I can stay completely calm, cool, and collected with my colleagues and in meetings and you know, when we got stressful things going on at work, let's bring that, you know, let's bring some of that.
, let's bring some of that home. But then I think. Some of the things that you know, that are part of the high performance habits and the things that we coach like. Sometimes people ask me like, Okay, well I get you're a high performance coach for business people, but like, I don't think of high performance mo.
Like, that's not a, those words don't fit really well. And I always say like, the ultimate amount of courage, which is one of our principles, is raising another han being. I, it that takes a lot of courage. Like all these parental decisions that have to be made, you know, with or without a partner every day.
You know, how do you. Educate your kids, What kind of values do they want? That takes a lot of courage. And then the other one, like just a [00:26:00] little more horous, I think is influence and persuasion. You need that in the workplace, but you need the ultimate amount of influence and persuasion with toddlers and with preteens.
Like those are great skills to bring home as a mom. So there's a, I think there's a lot of overlap. Yeah, a hundred percent. Yeah.
I don't think I can add anything on that without sounding like a do so I'm not going to. so I was, I did have another follow up question for you though. Well, in previous podcast episodes I've had a couple of doctors on, so people that have been. Care. Yep. And some of the big struggles that they've had have been, it's such a service industry, our, our service leadership and getting health outcomes for people.
And that's a very serious thing because, you know, if you feel like you can't take your time off to take [00:27:00] care of your kid or to go on vacation to rejuvenate, to take care of yourself, you, you, you don't. Like people's lives potentially are on the line, or, you know, it's very, very high stakes, high pressure.
Yeah. I'm curious then, how do you, cuz like raising kids, like you just said, is such an important, like, serious, full-time, full contact sport type job, you know, having a full-time career where you're leading an organization where there's health outcomes for people outside of their team. I imagine, you know, I know you're in more of the finance role, so maybe it's a little bit different, but still like that culture of we need to be on, we need to, to really make our impact here.
, as someone that, that is trying to find their mix, and maybe this is a way for the audience to. Kind of, if you're not a parent, you know, it's still how are you managing your job, your personal life, your health, [00:28:00] and taking care of yourself. how do you think through that? You know, I'm just a little curious.
Yeah. Well, before I answer that question, I wanna, I do wanna hit on, you know, honoring the heroes in healthcare that we're on the front lines, it is different. Mm-hmm. we, we have the same mission, we want the same outcomes, but it's different when. A nurse had to toe in pandemic care or a physician in surgery.
You know, just a mental health professional trying to keep up with all of the needs, today. So, so I will honor them by saying it, it is a little bit different, but at the same time, you know, what I work with my clients on is, related to high performance, as well is purpose, priorities, and plans that the, you really gotta figure out what your purpose And so, understanding like, Why are you doing what you do?
What is the legacy you [00:29:00] wanna leave? what does that mean? And being super intentional about that. And I think a lot of people live very intentional wives, but, but then when there's. A little bit of chaos or decision making about, you know, what am I gonna do with this, this next hour or this update or, you know, this, this season of life.
, it's not, it just doesn't connected and they look back and say, Oh, I, you know, I didn't spend that time the way I wanted. So I think purpose is really important and great clarity around that. and then I think knowing your prior. And, and I actually have my clients go through ordering those. So, so, you know, and, and there's, there's a maxim of 10 and what's going, nber one is that you, is that your kids, that your spouse is that your faith?
Like, what is that, That's nber one. So that when it all falls apart, you know, some afternoon you're like, Okay, but wait, you know, what is [00:30:00] really the most important thing now? And, and every day may look different, but, but it's like a roadmap. For how do I want to make these decisions when they need to be made?
And then, you know, then like the, the rubber hits the road on daily, weekly, monthly, you know, annual plans around, Okay, so there's only so much time in the day. How are you gonna spend that? And it's, it's, you know, we talk a lot about productivity, you know, in, in high performance. It's not always doing more.
It's like what's gotta, Okay. Do you have to get somebody to help with the. Or the cleaning or the running kids around so that you have really intentional time, for the conversations that matter and, and the the time to, be real, real intentional with your, your kids and your family and the people that you love.
One of the things that I found in when I switched from my corporate role to my business was I found [00:31:00] myself belly laughing with my kids more. I just, I. So much more time and space for what was most important to me. And it was really clear to me in those first couple months, like, wow, like, like I thought my life was really good.
I just wanted to do something different. But it opened up just lots more time and space, to be the mom that I wanted to be. Awesome. Awesome. I'm so glad that that was able, that transition. able to happen and that you're able to to, to live into that, which gets me into this next question, so, as. Uh, someone that's a very, a huge advocate for women in the workplace and moms in the workplace, or moms in life in general, is probably, it's probably more general than that.
Right? I don't wanna like narrow it down too much. Yeah. what's a belief that you hold about moms in the workplace that maybe [00:32:00] other people in your. Don't have or something that, that's kind of against the grain. Yeah, I think there are several, excellent So at first, yeah, and I, these are probably the, the places where I'm most outspoken.
It's in our company, we don't use the word balance. I just, I just don't think that that is, and yeah, it's one of the things I speak on, like this myth of work life. Or that, you know, kind of golden nugget question. We call it juggling. You know, you got one ball, you got two in hand, and you got a couple in the air.
And, this, this, uh, vision of, you know, smer rubber and smer glass. Some need more care than others. And, and those look different to everybody. Back to our, you know, previous discussion about, it's a very personal decision of what to juggle. How to juggle. And [00:33:00] so I don't like the whole thing about work-life balance.
I just think it's not time well spent trying to figure out how do you balance. we, we work with our clients to find joy. So juggle, juggle your life. Ultimately getting to, to joy. I hate the, the saying. and I do find that women do still tell each other this, You can't have it all. living proof that that's a myth, may not be easy.
But you can have it all. I had, someone tell a whole room of students, when I was in graduate school, You can't have it all because she, she didn't, that wasn't the choice she made. And I was like, Ooh, I'll prove you wrong. You know, like I, that really. Stuck with me. Like I just, that's not good advice for women to be giving one another.
And, and I also don't, like, you can have it all just not all at the same time. I don't believe that either. so those are the couple, couple of the things [00:34:00] that I think, are really problematic in today's workforce. I also. I do think that, we're, we're on a, on the precipice of something really different with women helping other women.
Mm. I do think we've gotta be telling more stories, offering more resources, and being much more candid about. What it takes to be successful, in the workplace while, showing up as the mom, you wanna be like, there's just gotta be more conversation. I do think for the most part, this thing of we ask women to work like they're not moms and to mother, like they don't work.
I think that is very true. And while I have a lot of latitude and amazing support at work, The, the, the juggling, you know, it does, it does fall to you. And I see a lot of posts, especially, you know, I spend quite a bit of time on LinkedIn, like reading and picking up, you know, [00:35:00] tips and tricks and, and things in the media.
I think there's this kinda asking of society or corporations to solve for this, and I think that's gonna be a long wait. and so I, when I talk with clients, especially perspective clients, it's all. Put the tools in your hands, you know, if your company's supportive, awesome. That will make the road much smoother.
But it's really not your, your corporation that's running a business to make a margin and employing you. It's not really their job to solve for your motherhood choices and challenges. It, its, they can make it easier and I, I admire corporations that do, but I think it's really the onus needs to be, on any, every individual who chooses to be.
And to work, to, to own that choice and really work to make it joyful for them. I, I love that. So I also have had a problem [00:36:00] with the word like work life balance, cuz it's, Yeah. You immediately think 50 50 or Right. Whatever. But it's, it's more of what's. Is the right ratio for you. I like your, your, analogy of juggling and, and I think that's a little, a lot more elegant.
, I know also that like having, like keeping up with economics, how rough the pandemic was on women in particular shaking them outta organizations and that's a huge problem I think from a perspective, you know, just having a diverse opinion. you know, an organization and especially leadership. So, which is why I really appreciate the work that you're doing.
, cuz it is super important. and I also, Love the idea. And I, I'm always talking about we have agency in our lives, uh, we are always making a choice and leaving it up to others is, is a choice. [00:37:00] Yep. And it's a recipe for being miserable, so, yeah. Great. So I was wondering, as you've been researching things on LinkedIn and stuff, do you.
There's a, a two or three folks, out there kind of in the similar field that you are, that are doing things really well and what do you think, makes them that way?
Yeah, so I think that. I think there's a lot of good work out there, all with, we're all on like different tangents of, of the topic. and her name is gonna escape, escape me, but the gal who leads, uh, girls who code. who also the Marshall plan for mom. I think that she's got a good platform.
I think that, uh, [00:38:00] she's immediately working on more, those, those earlier things we talked parental be, childcare, flexible hours. Those kinds of things. And I think those are good leaders. then I think, you know, then comes the, you know, the personal development part of it too. you know, I think it more broadly, I think Chief is doing good work in, offering a for to really help women rise.
And that's something that we believe. I think it's not accessible for a lot of people because of the costs, but I think for those who can afford it, it will, it will pay dividends. there are, you've got the mom project and bus stop, mamas and other organizations that are really getting into companies to say, I can bring you a supply you, you're looking for, for, people to fill your roles.
And I can bring you a, a strong supply of women who has have amazing, juggling skills and multitask. Skills because they are mothers [00:39:00] and, making that easier to do. And, and, a lot of those are focused on flexible hours, especially bus stop, mamas around flexible hours. for mothers who want to be, that's the name, their name at the, the bus stop to put their kids on, there's off, get them off the bus and they really wanna work those hours in between.
, so I think there are a lot of, I'm probably missing a few really important one. But those are the ones that immediately come to mind. I think there's, there's just this platform for. Voices and realization that we have to, we have to do this better and we wanna do this better. This is better for businesses, it's better for, employees or workers or leaders that are working moms.
And it's better for our kids, you know, joyful parents, who are engaged and confident and joyful. That's good for children and, and their development too. So, [00:40:00] yeah, I think there's a lot. But I love all of the, those organizations. like I wanted to make this point before that, you know, you talk about how giving people the tools to not wait for corporations to, to really manage and juggle things better themselves.
Yeah, Yeah. But I also wanted to point out that it's in organization's best interests. Tap these very competent, amazing people. And, you know, uh, I come from tech, so like you can code from anywhere and there's some amazing people, who happen to be women. that sounded really weird. But, you know, but what, basically what I'm saying is, is like, The pandemic shifted how we worked, and I fundamentally believe that the companies that will thrive and excel are gonna be the ones that adapt to workers' schedules [00:41:00] and needs a a lot more than traditional corporate.
Like you're there at seven in the morning, you leave at seven in the afternoon for. So, and I think, you know, the, the thing that I found in regard to that is those moments are important. You know, none of us are gonna live endlessly. Mm-hmm. especially when my kids were little, Like, I didn't want our daycare provider or my husband to be the only faces that the preschool teacher saw.
And people were like, Why is dropping your kid. Like you're just dropping them off. I'm like, I'm engaged with them on the ride. I'm engaged with their teacher. I know how it's going. I know what they're learning. Or, showing up for the kids' Christmas and I didn't make every single event, but, but I went into this journey saying like, I'm, I'm not gonna look back and miss anything that was important to me.
, I thought I would be a PTA mom. Like, ooh, that like leadership stuff is kind of my. Didn't work. It was at four o'clock on Mondays and there was [00:42:00] just no way know how that was gonna happen. So I had to pass on that one and, and I started a, we called it the, What do we call, what do we call it? A Girl Scout troupe.
That was not every week, like all the others. It was once a month and the moms rotated in and helped me. You know, we just, we had to find a way to do it different so that I could do those things, but, but not the way somebody else said to do them like brownies every week. It was, Nope, we can, we can do once a month and we'll do like super cool, fun.
But less of it. And that worked for me and that worked for the, you know, the working moms who had their kids in my troop. So just kinda that finding a different path sometimes to the things that matter to you. Yeah. But the, the innovation and, and creativity of like, Oh, I can design the space to cater to what I need.
, Yep. Such, Yeah. It's such a good thing. People, if you're listening, take that away. If you're a mom, if you're [00:43:00] a parent, if you're just, you know, someone out there in the world that we can design and change our lives. Yeah, for sure. So I was curious then if someone were to, I mom or you know, working parent wanted to like, okay, I made the decision like, okay, something needs to change.
How do I, as a beginner start to juggle things a little bit better, a little bit more in tune to me? do you have like two or three habits or suggestions or strategies to really help them get started in being a better juggler of all the things? Yeah. So. It says, The starter for me is really we talked about, you know, defining your purpose, knowing your priorities, and crafting your plans.
And on our [email protected] [00:44:00] mastermind.com, you can download. an article that, that gets into more detail of how I see that and some, you know, funny examples and, and things. but I think it really starts there, like, what do you want your legacy to be? How did those priorities line up for you? And then drafting your plan.
I call it drafting. Drafting or crafting. Drafting your plans, knowing that they're gonna, they're gonna wiggle, you know, a little bit every day, but, but seeing the things that you can do at the time that you have and the things. It's just gotta go. so that's, that's where I have people start. And then I think that base of purpose, priorities, and plans help when the inevitable snafu happens, Schedule change happens, decision has to be made.
It's like, okay, now I have a framework for this, as opposed to the, you know, kind of wild and wooly circus that can, can be every, every day. One of the best parts about having a podcast [00:45:00] is getting to interactive people. Hadn't met before and I'd love to invite you into our Meaningful revolution community by going to community dot sean bot.com, linked below in the show notes.
And there you can ask questions. You can meet like-minded folks. We can start working on building a movement together where we all are living into our best selves. Cause that's what's all about. So click the link in the show notes below. Again, community shaba.com if you're interested. Hope to see you there.
This is Sean saying continue with the. And, and then for me, the, the habit that's most, important to me and, and one that I think we don't, we don't talk about a whole lot, We don't teach this to kids, but it is, it's thought work in journaling. and I would say again, you know, students, uh, through a community of, of, uh, Out of the life coach school, you know, a real accomplished coach there that, [00:46:00] I feel like I learned that really late, but it's very important, to, to my practice of, of staying a, a high performer.
And, it takes me about five minutes a day. It's very quick. I do not, it is not dear diary. It does not take hours. I was massively resistant to this topic until. You know, the, the coach that I follow, put the, put this, this practice into our, you know, daily work. It was like, this is part of the plan. And I'm like, Well, I guess I'm gonna have to give this a shot.
And now I wouldn't trade it for everything. It's just, and, and simply it's journaling what's in your head. You're like, Just get it out all on paper. I spent about three minutes doing that now. It took longer in the beginning. And then really finding the thoughts that you jot down that don't serve. And figuring out for those that don't, what are you gonna do with those thoughts?
And, and I think this is a whole practice that takes, you know, time and effort [00:47:00] and those that do serve you like, ooh, I really, you know, I think that about myself and about my spouse and my kids and I love 'em, and all the things that are good. Giving those more air time and less time to the, the negative and critical thoughts.
, you know, and sometimes switching those out for thoughts that serve you better. And, and that is work that I learned very. you know, in my, my career, and this motherhood journey, but it is the stuff now that fuels my back self is figuring out, you don't just let everything in your head. And I feel like this gets sort of ethereal.
, and, but remember, I'm a CFO and so I really only like things that are, that are practical and efficient and effective. but, but thought twitching I think is really an important, important skill. And that is one things I work with my clients a lot on is, like you said, or wrote this, like let's explore.
Does that feel like when you, when you say that about yourself or [00:48:00] this situation or, or that person. Like, does that, does that feel good? Okay, well if not, let's, let's make some some changes there and start to, you know, think and, and act differently. Yeah. That is such an important habit. That took me a while to learn also as, as a coach.
Mm-hmm. . there was a time early on in my career where I. Student loans, like doing the whole bill shuffling thing, you know, working for forever. You know, every day I'd wake up with a thought, like, I hate my job. And that would just kind of be the, the mantra. and it was journaling and realizing like, Oh, I'm thinking this quite a lot.
You know, just that little bit of awareness of like, okay, like how can I like do the Indiana Jones thing where like switches the, the statue for the sake of sand. And then run like hell to try to change. Yeah. And it was just a simple language thing of like, I don't love my [00:49:00] job yet, you know? Yeah, right. And it melted all this stress that I was putting on myself where it's like, Oh, I don't love it yet.
It means that I could, and if I can now, it's a problem to solve versus a state of being. So. Absolutely. yeah. I also like, the other one I really like is,
I'm just thinking that, So I'm just thinking I don't wanna work out today, which leaves it open. That I think open the door open like, and maybe I really do, wanna get that done cuz I thought I would, or I know it's in my best friend. I'm just thinking that I like yet. . Well that's super good. There, there are several of those.
I think just quick add-ons that just gimme a little more latitude. yeah. To, to think or do differently. Awesome. I'm gonna steal that. I'm just thinking dot, dot, dot. So, uh, that's in my notes. cool. alright, finishing [00:50:00] up. I'm curious like what habits keep you on purpose every day, every week, or every.
And driving your business and being the best mom possible and juggling the most, being the best, most efficient, juggler, all that kind of stuff. Yeah. As you know, somebody who used to ask my husband like snooze. And secondly, I am now very intentional about that first hour of my day. Mm-hmm. . so journaling is a, You know, starting to drink water right away in the morning to, you know, get my body moving.
, getting up. A little bit of exercise. I also as a, as a mom, and so my practices are o you know, like, like I take the dog for a mile or a mile and a half, that's all, you know, we, that's what we've got time for right now. My journaling, as I said, is like five to 10 minutes. Like we're going, we're like whipping through about six things in 20, 25 minutes,
So, [00:51:00] these are not like endless, you know, I don't have this luxurious life where, this takes forever, right? But, uh, I would say that morning hour. The other thing that I do, pretty regularly, I do it every morning for one minute. Literally stop the iPhone timer. for a minute is just silence. A minute of silence.
Mm. Which. I can really now calm myself significantly with one minute I can, you know, find stress in my, in my face or my jaw or my shoulders and get that released. if things are amping up at home or at work, you know, one minute. and I used to think, Well, I don't wanna have time for that. Like, I don't have time to meditate or go do yoga practices or anything during the day.
And now I'm like, Oh my gosh, I can really make a lot of headway with. and sometimes I think as mom's, one minute of silence is a very joyful thing. I look forward to [00:52:00] that in, in my morning, like that one minute of just sh that's awesome. So I think the morning, we talked about, you know, journaling and thought work and really being intentional and then I.
I am a big believer, One of my favorite books out there is No Regrets Parenting. Hmm. And so I'm, I am very intentional about, uh, the time with my kids. So, You know that those few minutes when they first come home, if they've got something to say, you know, I've got one who wants to tell me every, you know, every step of her day.
And then I'm getting not another one who's my older daughter. I think just it's like, it was good or it was bad, and then she needs some time and, and she talks to me about it at bedtime. So different, but just being present when they first get home, if that's possible, you know, in a workday. And then, you know, just carving out those very special moments.
One of the things in, in No [00:53:00] Regrets Parenting is you get 960 Saturdays with your kids. And so when you put a nber on it and you think. you know, just that reminder that they won't always be here. Those fun things that you wanna go do with them, they won't always want to, and they won't be, you know, living with you forever.
And, and just thinking about it and, you know, again, like what's that legacy or that relationship or that, memory that you wanna establish. The book talks a lot about. And not just like the big fancy things you do like a huge trip, but the, the routines and the traditions that you set, that, that, those are the things that you and your children will remember.
Right?
it, it's, it's so true. I often, it's how, you know, recording this right around Halloween and some of my favorite memories growing up were. We would always make Halloween decorations with my mom, cuz that's what she did growing up. So yeah, we make bake play dough and little [00:54:00] like ppkins. Yeah. And like we'd paint 'em and stuff.
And that was the tradition every Halloween and like watching like Disney spooky things like the skeleton dance and stuff like that. Yeah. you know, it, it is we fun dude. Caramel apples, Like, that's like, like that was a big thing. I still see those little. Caramels, and I remember unwrapping like this huge pile of those cause bajillion of them to put in the fond machine.
And yeah, those like, but those things are super memorable to kids. You know, we have practices and we celebrate Christmas and so there are things that we do at Christmas that my kids, like if I tried to take one of those out, they, they, they wouldn't know what to do if we didn't do that, that thing, you know, in 4th of July.
You know, all the things that I think make for really special memories of, of these many years that go fast. You know, things that don't remember. Yeah. And it always goes quicker than you think. It's . Yep. So, [00:55:00] alright. With that said, uh, Trisha, people can follow up with you on mom mastermind.com, like you had mentioned before.
, and it's Mom Mastermind on Instagram and all the, the socials. Correct. LinkedIn inst, uh, Instagram and Facebook. Yep. All right. I'll have links in the show notes below when this releases. Uh, I'm so, so grateful. We had this really important conversation. Again, I really admire the work. That you're doing out there.
Thank you. It is super important to, make sure that we're moving everyone forward and this new crazy world that we find yourselves in. And so, uh, yeah, super great. And likewise, I think the work that you're doing is really important. Cause, I mean, for all of us to find meaning and joy, you know, in what we're doing, and that's kind of the ultimate.
It, it really is, and it's the hardest thing to pull off. Mm-hmm. . And it's easy at the same time, but. That's steps. [00:56:00] That's right. Whole other thing. Alright. For having me. I love this episode with Trisha because we all have to manage huge responsibilities in our lives. Whether that's, you know, being a CFO for a large corporation and health, or being a parent and you know, the ideas that we have to know what our priority is, what to juggle, what are the things that we can drop.
What are the things that are glass that we need to make sure we don't drop? And, and thinking through how do we delegate, How do we design our lives as parents, as business owners, as you know, people that want to be healthy out there in the world, How are we managing, prioritizing that and feeling authentic?
When we have to make choices that okay, family first above work or this Project first, and get that finished before I can do working out or however that works [00:57:00] out for you. So I hope you do check out [email protected]. Again, all her social and links are below in the show notes for this episode.
Wherever you're listening. And, uh, also I'd like to share with you, we are starting a new community space where you can ask questions, meet each other, and there'll be some other things that are being built out as we go forward. But you can sign up for free at community. Dot Sean butner.com. Again, that is also linked below in the show notes.
I'd love to hear your questions, get your feedback, get into a discussion about starting your meaningful revolution, because at the end of the day, the idea is to help inspire you. To live more into your passions, to live more into the great life, you know, you can have for yourself. And I know that you can have yourself too.
So, yep. Love to connect, love to, to hear what you have to say. So again, sean butter.com or it's community dot shawn [00:58:00] bunner.com, link below. Hope to see you there. Say hi, introduce yourself. Get into discussion and uh, see you there guys. Bye. Okay.
