This week I'm getting married! So I've been thinking about the special people in my life, my vows, and what this week means for me.
As such, I started thinking about all the people I care about that can and can't make it this weekend. About the people, I have not talked to or seen in too long, and the people I get to see regularly.
So I wondered, why did I keep up with certain people, and not others? Have you ever lost touch with someone you loved or enjoyed the company of?
Recent articles quoting how most people in the US have an average of one close friend or confidant, highlight the need for more social connection.
So with this small tidbit of knowledge, I have a challenge for you. This week, tell someone you care about them directly that you appreciate them, that you want to hang out, that you want to catch up, that you care.
Even if you don't believe the research or have a vast network of close folks, this is still a great idea because we need more...
We've all been there. We pour our heart, soul, brainpower, hopes, and dreams into our effort, and we don't feel like we have made the progress we should.
Inevitably, the question comes up, "should I stop this, or should I keep going?".
The answer is - it depends.
Are you focused on what happens when you win the fight, or that the battle is too much? Is it worth the fight to continue pushing, sweating, exerting, to make progress?
Are you focused too much on this part of your life, so much that you are neglecting other parts of your life? Would clearing your head with family help you solve that big work problem?
When was the last time you celebrated ANY progress? Even just a little win. Or are you dreading all the hardship and hurdles?
Your answers to those questions will answer the question, "Should I stop or keep going."
If you're striving for service to your family or your community, it's important to keep these questions in front of your...
What makes projects more complicated, more costly, more emotionally frustrating, and/or less successful?
I bring this up because a big personal project is coming up: my wedding.
Nobody ever told me the planning part would be a big test to the relationship. It turns out the things that make or break projects are the same for relationships.
It's all about communication because projects are all about relationships.
Fortunate for Ashley and myself, we did a ton of work on how we communicate before we took on our "big noble project."
Have you ever been on a project where everyone is conflict-avoidant, so nobody can have the tough conversations needed to keep the project on track?
Or maybe have you ever been on a project that took more time, resources, and commitment then you originally planned? You maybe forget why you are doing the project because you feel frustrated it keeps slogging on.
I know I have, and thankfully learned some (read many) big lessons...
What are your next best steps towards building your business? What are your next big moves that will create more intimacy with your loved ones?
These are questions I often dance around with my coaching clients, because they start off with the question, "What do I do next?".
Clarity is such an important topic in performance for many reasons. Having clear next steps can make or break motivation. Not knowing what to do next can help distraction win, or other peoples agendas trump your own. The research on performance shows that those who spend more time getting clear on who they are and what they want are more successful, too.
So if you are feeling kind of lost and don't know what to do next, what do you do? Just as importantly, if you are clear on your next steps, how do you keep your future vision in focus as you march forward?
The highest performers sharpening their vision by journaling, talking to their coach, and refining their ideas on what to do...
Our perception defines how we see the world. Our beliefs shape our world view.
This reasoning is probably why most personal growth starts with better understanding and shaping our beliefs.
"What are your beliefs? " is a question I was asked this past week. Can you answer that question? For me, I was able to speak to a few with my buddy, and it stuck in my mind.
What patterns or themes keep repeating, or define our personality?
What comes up for you? It's powerful to understand how you are operating and to see if you are pushing yourself forward or holding yourself back.
Well, I fumble through four of my beliefs in this weeks video. Classic Shawn.
Hope you enjoy it, and be sure to share some of your defining values below too!
I'm not ready.
I'm not ready to have kids. I'm not ready to start my business. I'm not ready for a serious relationship. I'm not ready to run today...
Have you ever quit something because you were not ready for it?
As a coach, I hear "I'm not ready" all the time! I don't know how many times in my life or career I've not been ready to move on, to start, to stop, to feel, to not feel, to live. It's part of being human.
"Not being ready" is fine. Using it as an excuse to not take action prevents us from having the family, health, career, and lifestyle we envisioned for our families.
Because not being ready is just fear. The fear we are not adequate. The fear we are not enough. The fear we will fail. So why bother, right?
Well, we can let fear run our lives and be miserable because we know we are backing down when we need to act BOLDLY. Nobody was ever ready for anything, so why are we any different!
How can we act boldly...
Have you ever struggled to be successful? We all have if we are honest with ourselves. So many times in my life have I felt stuck, unsure if I would succeed, or had a huge setback that I felt like I would never gain momentum towards the career I wanted.
As a career and life coach, I see many people who struggle to get after what they define as success. I love helping these clients because most of the time, it's a small shift in perspective that can yield them great results.
The surprising thing to me is that almost all of us face the same pattern of perspective. Those who are the top CEOs, athletes, celebrities, or highly successful folks can self-correct when they need a change in performance sooner than most others.
So what are the three factors that keep most people from reaching that upper level of performance?
Uncertainty. When we don't know what to do next, we get stuck and spend too much energy trying to get moving. So how do we figure out the...
It's been a little bit since my last post. I've been trying to figure out how to be an entrepreneur since it's my main gig now! Which is super exciting and tougher than I thought.
I've had some folks ask me about where to start when you want to self-develop or improve, and it got me thinking about how I got started.
I used to struggle with overwhelm, stress, and despair when I was younger. Those are pretty loaded terms and seem hyperbolic. Essentially I was working crazy hours, not making enough money to cover my student loans and basic life essentials. So - stress, overwhelm, despair.
It took me about a half a year to get fed up and decide something needed to change. That decision started my whole journey on self-improvement and taking control of my life.
That decision lead to four common areas of growing (summary from video):
Happy Mother's Day everyone!
This time of year is always a little reflective because five years ago I lost my mom to complications of heart disease. I reflect on what Mom taught me, how it's shaped my life, and how grateful I am to have such awesome parents.
Mom always found the bright side of things, especially when things were tough. When we were going through her recovery after heart surgery, she told me "somehow, we will look back and laugh at all of this". She was on dialysis at that moment, and I couldn't help but admire her strength.
She was also all about sharing her thoughts about anything, and would always listen and learn about a different perspective. Even if she didn't agree with them. Don't think she wouldn't tell you about her opinion though.
She loved to read, and I picked up her love of books over the years. The last book she gave me was the book 1776, about the American revolution and it was fantastic.
I recently got back from a week long training seminar, and it was fantastic! Almost everyone was enthusiastic, up-beat, and excited to learn how to help people find breakthroughs that improve their lives. (This was the yearly coaching certification training).
What does this have to do with one thing that's stealing many people's happiness? Well, I have a friend who had nothing but complaints about the event. It was frustrating because this person complains a lot about a ton of things. We all have our moments and complain. It's a human thing.
Complaining robs us of happiness, feeling satisfied, or enjoying the moment. We feel frustrated we don't have control, so we point out how things are flawed. We blame others for our lack of success, or we wait for someone else to fix a problem we are facing. There is little agency or control for the person who complains
We live in a society that LOVES to complain. Take a look at the internet....